One Less Thing to Feel Guilty About

Gabe is one month old tomorrow!  And I finally sat him down for a proper photo-shoot (by which I mean three minutes of snapping pictures between nursing and napping.)

Happy One Month, Gabe!

Last Day of Day Care

A mother's guilt never ends, right?  Isn't that part of the deal?  There are no perfect choices, and we all just do the best we can.

Today, I'm feeling guilty about taking Ellie out of day care - which is insane considering how guilty I felt putting her IN day care to begin with.  But now I feel like I'm tearing her away from the teachers she has grown to love, and her cute little boyfriend who follows her around like a love-sick puppy.  I know we're going to have a great Spring - playing in the park and watching Gabe grow - but change is hard.  I can only hope she's half as happy to spend every day with me as she has been to see her day care peeps every morning.

A good Jewish mother is supposed to make everyone else feel guilty.  I'm obviously doing it wrong.

Favorite Sights

Bri and Ellie getting ready for bed.  Makes me all warm and fuzzy.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today is the McGowan's annual St. Patrick's Day Party.  It's one of my favorite yearly traditions.  Corned Beef!  Cabbage!  Guinness!  We're moving slowly, but I'm bound and determined to get there.

A Little Better

There...he's a little less cross-eyed in this one.

18 Days

...and, as Brian points out, a bit cross-eyed in this picture.  Oh well.

Park!

What is it about walking around with a double stroller that makes people think it's okay to TALK to me? Hello! It's still New York. We're supposed to cherish our anonymity and refuse to look other people in the eye. Instead everyone's all cheery, asking me how old the babies are, and making laughing remarks about having two kids. Please people, I'm operating on two hours sleep here. I can't make small talk with strangers.

Maybe it's spring fever. It is sunny and 72 in Brooklyn right now. Say what?!? So we celebrated this morning by hanging out in Prospect Park. Ellie played with sticks while Gabe snoozed in the sunshine. All in all, a success. If only people would stop trying to talk to me.

P.S. I know there haven't been many pictures of Gabe yet. He's still at the point where if he's not eating, he's fussing or asleep. I've tried to grab some shots, but I haven't been able to capture what makes him HIM yet. Hopefully soon.

Trespassing

Gabe is sleeping in the living room with us for the time being. It's good to know his crib isn't going to waste.

Grandpa and Grandson

Tech Support

(P.S. Thanks to everyone who responded to my cry for nursing help. We seem to be slowly improving, and last night I was actually able to get some sleep. It's amazing what a difference that makes.)

Advice from Moms

Hey Moms,

Any advice on how to get a sleepy baby to nurse for more than 10 minutes? Gabe is proving himself a grazer...he's eating enough to reach his weight goals, which is great, but he's insisting on small meals. Which means he's eating all night long and there's no sleep in Brooklyn.

I'll wake him up and encourage him to keep going, but when he's done, he's done. Any words of wisdom? This too shall pass....

Thanks!

Food Glorious Food

If food equals love (wait, what? it doesn't?) then we are basking in love this week. A HUGE thank you to our friend Sarah, who despite being all the way in Boulder, took it upon herself to organize a dinner drive for us. And a shout-out to all of you who've sent us groceries, made us casseroles, ordered from our local restaurants, and generally made sure "What's for dinner?" is a question no one will have to ask in our house for a long, long time. You guys are amazing and Gabe, Ellie, Bri and I are all extremely grateful.

As a side note, Sarah has a kick-butt blog at A Day in the Life of My Little Brood. She's the kind of mom I aspire to be and her descriptions of the art projects her and Zoe tackle are nothing short of inspiring. She's also collecting votes for her blog as a "creative mom" at Circle of Moms. You don't have to register or anything to vote for her, so please do!

Gabe's Story

So I was seriously cranky Monday at work. Super tired, no patience for anything, and to top it off I was having these annoying Braxton Hicks contractions. I was convinced Gabe was going to take his sweet time and torture me for as long as possible before next Tuesday's c-section date. Turns out he had other plans in mind.

By the time Ellie was in bed and Brian was reheating leftovers for dinner I was starting to get clued in that something was happening. And I became completely and totally irrationally fixated on ordering a double stroller online. No, it couldn't wait until several weeks after the baby came, like we had just decided a few days earlier. I had to buy that stroller right now - come hell, high water, or toe-curling contraction. In fact, it was when I was too distracted by pain to fill in our credit card information that Brian started to get extremely nervous. I was still in denial, but when the next contraction hit and my feet went cold I told him maybe he should eat something just in case we had to go to the hospital. His response as I dragged myself to the bathroom: "Your water better not break, I have a lot of work to do tomorrow." So supportive, that one! So my water broke, just to spite him.

Now, for the rest of the story you have to keep in mind my experience with Ellie. She was breech, so we knew I'd be having a c-section. My water broke around 3am, we were at the hospital by 4, and had E in our arms shortly after 8. I never felt a contraction, and the whole process felt smooth and as stress-free as having a baby can be. Yeah, that didn't happen this time.

Right after my water broke my contractions became strong enough to take my breath away and we were off to the hospital. Our friend Lucy came to be with E, and Brian and I walked to Methodist. We partly wanted to recreate the magic of walking there the first time, and partly Brian didn't want to give up his parking space. He's a real romantic.

Although my contractions were coming fast and furious I was still pretty calm until we actually got to Labor and Delivery. Or specifically until we failed to get in to Labor and Delivery because every woman in Brooklyn had decided NOW was a good time to go into labor. There were no beds available in triage, and it wasn't looking like there were going to be any beds any time soon. The most infuriating part is that every other woman in the waiting room was calmly watching Vincent D'Onofrio chew the scenery on the "All Law and Order, All the Time" waiting room television. Me? I'm hyperventilating like a cat in heat and pacing the floor in front of the reception window practically begging them to take pity on me. Warrior woman, I am not.

It was around midnight that the helpful reception lady suggested Brian and I go home, that there was no way we were getting into triage until at least 6am. THANK GOD I was blissfully unaware of this exchange or someone may have gotten hurt. Bri informed reception that we weren't going anywhere unless they managed to convince his wife, and they sent out a doctor to try to tell us tonight wasn't a good night to have a baby. Ooops! Turns out reception had confused us with another couple that was there for a scheduled induction. The doctor took one look at me and announced I was getting the next available bed.

Once we were actually in triage, and thanks to a lovely magical shot that slowed my contractions, I started to have a much better evening. It was still an interminable wait for an operating room, but by 3:30 they were putting scrubs on Brian and the show was finally on the road. Gabriel was born at 4:16am, and positively perfect in every way. It turns out he was posterior, or "sunny-side up" which explains why my contractions were particularly painful (or maybe I really am just a complete baby.) Also, my doctor thinks his positioning meant a repeat c-section was likely anyway, even if I had decided to try for a vaginal birth. Since I had spent months agonizing over the decision whether or not to have another cesarean, it was a relief to know I probably wouldn't have had an easy time with delivery.

So we were home by Thursday and everything's going as well as can be expected. Ellie is a total love-bug and just wants to keep kissing Gabe, and he's doing his part by eating and sleeping well. And now it's time for me to catch some sleep before he wakes up again.

Gabe!

Gabriel Edward
Born Tuesday, March 1, 2011
4:16am, 6 pounds-6 ounces, 18 inches long

Birth story and details to come after we catch up on a little sleep.