Someone is turning four this week. Four. It's insane.
It's a cliche for a reason. He's growing up so quickly. This year he became a big brother, and honestly, we weren't sure how that was going to go. But Gabe is a trooper, and is turning into an awesome big brother. He was already a pretty kick-ass little brother.
I said around New Years that things may be changing around here, and I guess I wasn't kidding. I am going back to work full time, in the city. This is super awesome and exciting and also completely terrifying and horrible. We are searching for a nanny, I am full of anxiety and guilt, and some more anxiety on the side. Essentially my paycheck will pay the nanny, which of course begs the question of WHY THE HELL DO IT? But I have to remember to look at the big picture. Me returning to work is ultimately the best thing for our family, and YES, it will be a huge adjustment, and YES it will be hard, and YES, there will be days (weeks?) where I hate it and think I've made a totally wrong choice, and YES, it still is the right thing for us. And if it isn't? I quit. I'm so lucky to have the opportunity to make this choice, and I'm really struggling to feel positive about it. Change is hard. Uncertainty is hard. Such is life.
So, in the midst of all this emotional turmoil, I've been splurging on my time with the kids. Gabe and I have been on a lunch tour of Tarrytown. He loves restaurants that serve macaroni and cheese. Can't say I blame him.
And Ellie and I went to see Matilda on Broadway! It was so great and we had a lovely day together. We don't get much alone time, and I really loved being able to focus just on my incredibly grown up little girl.
I am currently obsessed with figuring out what color Mira's eyes are going to be. Any guesses? At six months we've got a blue outer ring, with brown around the pupil. Will the brown keep going? End up hazel? Green? Hot pink?
With a blizzard closing down on us (18-24 inches?! say what?!) it seems a good a time as any to post a favorite picture from this summer. Someone at Day Camp snapped this shot, and she made the brochure this year! We're famous!
We've got a bit of the January Blues around here. The holidays are over, cold season is here, blah blah blah... We did have a great time celebrating Brian's birthday last weekend. Our closest friends met us at a local bowling alley with all the kids and we partied as much as a bunch of 40-year-olds can on a Saturday afternoon. The Coburns came to visit too, so it was really a lovely weekend. But now Brian, Mira, and I have a cold, and the kids don't want to get up in the morning for school, and I can't really blame them. Spring, come soon!
Until then, I'll just keep trying unsuccessfully to take naps with Gabe and Sophie. It may not be restful, but it's fun.
It's been New Year's for a couple days now, but tomorrow everyone goes back to work and school...so it feels like the real kick-off to the year. With lots of luck and hard work, I'm hoping 2015 will bring some pretty big changes around here. I'm starting to put out feelers about going back to work, and considering really making a go of my photography. Both ideas are pretty damned terrifying. So last night's take-out Chinese fortune feels particularly appropriate: "If you think you can do a thing or you think you can't do a thing, you're right." Well, there you have it. At least I'm always right.
It's the day after Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, because we're all completed exhausted. Merry Christmas, everyone! It's the the holiday homestretch...can we make it?
Okay, so it technically wasn't her FIRST "Nutcracker," but I've decided that last year's "Max and Ruby in the Nutcracker" didn't really count. So yesterday Ellie and I went to her first real, grown-up, not abridged or adulterated, ballet. And she did great. She enjoyed the first act more than the second, but who can blame her? The first act is all party and plot, while the second is just dance for dance's sake. Even I get frustrated with the second act. (Ellie's comment when the Sugar Plum Fairy made her third entrance: "Please don't tell me she's going to dance AGAIN." Everyone's a critic.)
The anniversary of Sandy Hook....the news from Pakistan today about the school massacre... I don't normally talk "serious stuff" on this blog...it's all just family photos and amusing anecdotes. But tonight, I struggle to maintain holiday enthusiasm amid near constant reminders of how tenuous it all is. So I find joy in Gabe's relief at FINALLY getting a light-up, remote-control race car, and watching Ellie meticulously apply enough layers of glitter nail polish to preserve her fingertips through eternity. I'll make cookies and latkes and make it all as perfect for my little family as I can, and I'll share cute pictures and silly kid stories like the the little Dutch boy holding back the dam. May you all find peace and joy this season, and may the world come to its senses.
Brian's Aunt Jan posted this to Facebook today. It's from our visit in September, I think? It's all of us, plus Brian's grandmother Doris, and his cousin Dan. Could Ellie be wearing any more pink? She's obsessed.
Ellie is VERY excited about any opportunity to make Velveetta Cheese Dip, so yesterday we had a couple people over, made latkes and cookies, and dipped much more than a reasonable amount of Tostitos in melted cheesy goodness. Maintaining Holiday Enthusiasm!
This smiley little girl had her four month doctors visit this week. She's 22-1/2" tall and 13 pounds. The puts her in the 5th percentile for height and the 50th for weight. The doctor called her a butterball. I've never been more proud. I've also never been more exhausted. About two weeks ago she stopped sleeping. I'm hoping for a Christmas/Hannukah Miracle.
The holidays are here! The holidays are here! I get so giddy at this time of year. There's just so much to look forward to: latkes, sugar cookies, apple cider, friends, family, the smell of the christmas tree. Is it bad I listed latkes and cookies before friends and family? I just love it all. This weekend we decorated gingerbread houses with the neighbors. Let the holidays commence! And here's to trying to maintain this level of enthusiasm through New Years.